Beginnings

I am renewing this blog again after quite a while it seems.
This time hopefully with a greater degree of persistence since now i have an overarching mission and clearer end goal.

In the interim since i wrote last i have had some major insights and done some major work ~ probably the most significant and most relevant commitment wise was the theta healing workshop. That one was a true blessing.

Also yesterday i had some major 'd-uh!' insights:

1. A clearer understanding of "what i attract to me is a clear mirror of what i
think". I think of my self as a small version of A. not in a heretical sense, but understanding that A has given us some a part of himself, or the fact that he is 'nearer to us than our jugular vein' imbues us with some of his essence. thus just as he manifests whatsoever he wishes, so to do we. the thing to remember is that our manifestation speed and accuracy varies in proportion to our godliness. how close are we to him in terms of our goodness, moral uprightness and understanding of him by morality i do not mean the strait laced version but the one that encompasses kindness, goodness and a real love for this planet. thus happiness and joy leads to manifestation, and worry leads to problems.

2.Also how true are our feelings in relation to our expectations?
do we desire the riches of this world yet are afraid we cant handle the responsibility that comes with it ?
if yes then we wont get it, for the fear tells our subconscious that no, i am not ready for it...if by some force of desire we do get them we will most always lose them in record time, unless we modulate our behavior and wavelength to one of richness and deserving।

3.The events and ppl in my life have been a mirror of MY emotional and worthiness state. So what does this tell me of the ppl and events that I have received in my life?
what does this say of my state of worthiness, and my ability to project my thoughts and expectations in the hologram world?
Lets see:
A--> settling for what I could not tolerate and living with that sense of contrast.
A--> more of the above,and then some even less than that; a sense of shame and guilt and wrongdoing.
E-->even worse, proof positive of the depth that I had sunk to, to the extent that it involved my child.
R-->sinking lower and lower, and settling for less and less, robbed in every sense of the word, deceived with eyes wide shut, hitting rock bottom. Poor health, poor self esteem and giving till i had nothing left to give. I cry tears of blood for myself.

F-->a sign of better times only when i was in complete surrender and not willing to settle for anything less than what felt right to me. Still not completely there yet, but a huge improvement over what I done in the past. A keeper and will stay the course , and rise higher from now on. And remember that rising does not meaning compromise in any sense of the word unless you subscribe to the notion that it is. You are what you think. It is possible to have it all


4.Getting some sense of the meaning of 'As above, so below'.
In this context, what does , my below say about my above? Reverse metaphysics...or the biggest clue to belief work.

Having a good partner: I deserve and am open to having one

Not being fit: Fitness is hard work, i dont deserve good health,i dont deserve to be my ideal at all times. Important to discriminate between what is perfect health and physique for me or my desire, and what is hologram's idea of it.

Not having my desired career. Again what is the difference between my ideal life's work and what it would look like in practice, without regard to what the world expects?

My ideal house or this home that i love so much: how can i manifest change in it to mirror what i want in my house? Start with a room. Start with clutter clearing and space clearing of the whole home.
Some things: cassette player, i tunes, record player, crafts surface, sewing machine table, crystals,bookshelf, candles, labyrinth, dream catcher, always in transition and always in movement.

More later. much more!