Acceptance of the ultimate reality

The grave receives you with love. Surrender yourself to the Earth. Return what was loaned to you. Give up your pleasure, your pain, your friends, your lovers, your life, your past, what you desire. You will know nothingness, it is the only reality. Don't be afraid, it's so easy to give. You're not alone, you have a grave. It was your first mother. The grave is the door to your rebirth. Now you will surrender the faithful animal you once called your body. Don't try to keep it, remember, it was a loan. Surrended your legs, your sex, your hair, your brain, your all. You no longer want to possess, possession is the ultimate pain. The earth covers your body, she came to cover you with love, because she is your true flesh. Now you are an open heart, open to receive your true essence your ultimate perfection. Your new body, which is the universe, the work of god. You will be born again, you will be real. you will be your own father, your own mother, your own child, your own perfection. Open your eyes, you are the earth, you are the green, you are the blue, you are the Aleph, you are the essence. Look at the flower, look at the flower, for the first time look at the flowers." 

Interplay of the consciousnesses

From questing inward in the heart comes knowledge which destroys all false illusions. Searching books for pure clear wisdom is like trying to cook and eat the picture of a gourd!

~ Ramana Maharishi

Understanding  the

1. Control of thoughts
2. Control of emotions
3. As above so below ~ contemplate on the spiritual /astral/physical realms
4. the subconscious does not know the difference between real and imagined 
5. All is One and All is sacred: what does this mean to me: what is my all and thus what is sacred to me?

Everything in my life is sacred: my family; my home, cleaning, gardening, puting makeup, making dessert, and hopefully overtime this will lead to being and becoming humble; to dissolution of the ego and the lower self

And what will that do for me?

freedom of the lower self...

being able to release fear and control...

being able to step back and think about the 'why' and the lesson behind the experience so you need not repeat it...

maybe this is why lessons and tests often occur after a good time or after i've tried to be good ~ its a sign that A is testing to see if we have really learnt anything or if its just a surface goodness. Our reward thus is that after a period of trying to live in accordance with our conscience is that we get the opportunity to skim more of our emotional or other superficial dross. Cool.

Thoughts during lunchtime

My increasing preoccupation with things that probably sound esoteric or just plain dull, makes me less and less able to endure the women i lunch with. 

These lunches are fine, the food is  passable but oh! the inanity!!!!

Will greater introspection lead to greater intolerance?

I was also struck by the pride of these self same people. It is comical. First we build a paradigm. then the stage is set and the actors come. We play our parts, and then we start believing in those roles. Amazing!!

We get so fixated on our labels as if they have the power to define us. We look on certain careers as desirable and those not able to do them as less desirable. the jobs, the labels define us completely.

And so in order to break these paradigms let us do the things that are looked down upon even though i can do better stuff!

That should be interesting

A timely reminder

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." 
-Bible (Jeremiah 29:13)

Inside the Kaaba it doesn't matter which direction you point your prayer rug.

Moses heard a shepherd on the road praying,
"God,
Where are you? I want to help you, to fix your shoes 
and comb your hair. I want to wash your clothes
and pick the lice off. I want to bring you milk
to kiss your little hands and feet when it's time 
for you to go to bed. I want to sweep your room
and keep it neat. God, my sheep and goats 
are yours. All I can say, remembering you, 
is ayyyy and ahhhhhhhh."

Moses could stand it no longer.
"Who are you talking to?"

"The one who made us,
and made the earth and made the sky."

"Don't talk about shoes
and socks with God! And what's this with your little hands 
and feet? Such blasphemous familiarity sounds like
you're chatting with your uncles.
Only something that grows
needs milk. Only someone with feet needs shoes. Not God! 
Even if you meant God's human representatives, 
as when God said, 'I was sick and you did not visit me,'
even then this tone would be foolish and irreverent.

Use appropriate terms. Fatima is a fine name
for a woman, but if you call a man Fatima,
it's an insult. Body-and-birth language
are right for us on this side of the river,
but not for addressing the origin,
not for Allah."

The shepherd repented and tore his clothes and sighed 
and wandered into the desert.

A sudden revelation
came then to Moses. God's voice:

You have separated 
me from one of my own. Did you come as a Prophet to unite, 
or to sever?

I have given each being a separate and unique way 
of seeing and knowing and saying that knowledge.

What seems wrong for you is right for him.
What is poisonous to one is honey to someone else.

Purity and impurity, sloth and diligence in worship,
these mean nothing to me. 
I am apart from all that.
Ways of worshipping are not to be ranked as better 
or worse than one another.

Hindus do Hindu things.
the Dravidian Muslims in India do what they do.
It's all praise, and it's all right.

It's not me that's glorified in acts of worship.
It's the worshipers! I don't hear the words
they say. I look inside at the humility.

That broken-open lowliness is the reality,
not the language! Forget phraseology.
I want burning, burning. 
Be friends
with your burning. Burn up your thinking
and your forms of expression!

Moses,
those who pay attention to ways of behaving 
and speaking are one sort. 
Lovers who burn
are another.

Don't impose a property tax 
on a burned-out village. Don't scold the Lover.
The "wrong" way he talks is better than a hundred
"right" ways of others.

Inside the Kaaba
it doesn't matter which direction you point
your prayer rug!

The ocean diver doesn't need snowshoes!
The love-religion has not code or doctrine.

Only God.

So the ruby has nothing engraved on it!
It doesn't need markings.

God began speaking 
deeper mysteries to Moses. Vision and words,
which cannot be recorded here, poured into
and through him. He left himself and came back.
He went to eternity and came back here.
Many times this happened.

It's foolish of me
to try and say this. If I did say it,
it would uproot human intelligences.
It would shatter all writing pens.

Moses ran after the shepherd.
He followed the bewildered footprints,
in one place moving straight like a castle
across a chessboard. In another, sideways,
like a bishop.

Now surging like a wave cresting,
now sliding down like a fish,
with always his feet 
making geomancy symbols in the sand, 
recording
his wandering state.

Moses finally caught up
with him. 
"I was wrong. God has revealed to me 
that there are no rules for worship.
Say whatever
and however your loving tells you to. Your sweet blasphemy
is the truest devotion. Through you a whole world
is freed. 
Loosen your tongue and don't worry what comes out,
It's all the light of the spirit."

The shepherd replied, 
"Moses, Moses,
I've gone beyond even that.
You applied the whip and my horse shied and jumped
on itself. The divine nature of my human nature
came together. 
Bless your scolding hand and your arm.
I can't say what has happened. 
What I'm saying now
is not my real condition. It can't be said."

The shepherd grew quiet.

When you look in a mirror,
you see yourself, not the state of the mirror.
The flute player puts breath into the flute,
and who makes the music? Not the flute,
The flute player!

Whenever you speak praise
or thanksgiving to God, it's always like
this dear shepherd's simplicity.

When you eventually see
through the veils to how things really are,
you will keep saying again
and again,

"This is certanly not like
we thought it was!"

-Rumi

First Few Chillahs : Some Important Conclusions

What you think on and meditate on , what you focus on is what will expand and it is also what you will receive answers about.

Fear translates to doubt in the power of A is essentially what is shirk. Thus doubt anxiety worry is the real sin.

If you recognize obstacles you are essentially saying that there are restraints on the power of A. You cannot believe in A and restraints at the same time. Sin apart what this essentially means that your wish stagnates... one step forward, two steps backward. This explains the logic of thinking of desires as they already existed and thus to give thanks for them. This prevents scarcity thinking.

When you see the distortion of perfection in your image of the world, understand that it has come to you for alteration. To alter you must become still in the awareness, centralized, and to realign the Tao.

True vocalization is not about the word. It is about the inclusion of all senses and all dimensions, and these are far more numerous than the customary ones. The word and the entire word exists in your mind, your heart, your feelings and emotions and your actions. It is in your energy , your vibes, and your auric emanations!!

Even in your thinking of others. Be careful when you think of others for your thinking of others governs you more than it does them. Your thinking about them is not going to affect them but affects you more, much more. So understand well the value and place of your own thoughts in the evolution of your self.

Guard your thoughts. Compare your mind to a vessel. If you leave it uncovered all sorts of gunk is going to fall in and make it murky and dirty and unclean. If you cover it and keep it safe then this metaphysical dirt and  pollution cannot enter. So make sure you are always think consciously.

Nothing first happens to me without first happening IN me.

Good  to know.

First Few Chillahs : Some General Conclusions

Obviously these are not set in stone.

That Islam is a continuation albeit a less distorted one of the Judaea -Christian tradition. The Quran being relatively  more preserved is more reliable than the several editions of the other holy books.

Ahmed Hulusi's understanding of Islam that it is not worshipping another god 'out there' but the divinity within  provided a major 'aha' moment.

Ervin seals explanation of worry = shirk  helped clarify the need to depend on A , ergo be full of faith.

Mental focus principles and zikr have same origin

Connections between Salat and yoga asanas having a striking similarity, perhaps similar origins? This means that yoga could have a distinct benefit.

Understanding that the journey is the key and the quality of the destination will depend the journey.

Heaven and earth  and hell are dimensions in this multidimensional universe. Many will be in purgatory simply because on earth  all we do is just 'hang out'

Understanding 'paradigm concepts'. This world is what we make of it. Outside of accepted paradigms  what is there to guide us: a new paradigm of our own making?

Thinking but not truly understanding the 'whereof' of Salat, Dua, Zikr, Sawm, Haj, Zakat

How pure is the Islam we practice today? Why did M say that in the later years here will be none who practice as  do. What did he do that was different? I often feel we have the empty shell of the religion and not really its spirit and soul.

Is Islam also a cult like thing now: there is so much insistence on following, not questioning, not thinking, how can this give rise to free thinking peoples? Has it too become all about unquestioning obedience, fear, resource control, individual agendas?

If I were to apply the principles of mentalism and other hermetic principles to Islam what would it look like ?

Shirk is worry, disconnection with self, looking outside, doubt, thinking that power is outside of us, 

No external deadlines, when student is ready teacher will appear, let go and let God, go downstream, life is all holograms, how will you act if this is truly so?

Being wary of ego tricks

Chillahs

So having said all that  now I turn to the 'how to' of all that. For me personally.

 to be an orphan: to extend my self more primarily to family. To understand more and to stay in touch more. to actively think of and plan things for their happiness and betterment. To do one thing for their betterment on a daily basis.

to think well of myself and think of what is the best i can be in my old format: 
A: academic; not necessarily related to medicine
B: body; physical fitness; good health; meditation etc
C : career and calling.
D: diet, and concepts of nutrition.

contemplation  and writing for only an hour or so a day

exercise for 1/2 to 1 hour a day: five tibetans is good

work hard to get dunya out of the way: keep a track of what you have done to move forward on a daily basis....blog another blog if you have to.

The journey so far - part 1

So where I am coming from basically is that after having completed several forty day 'thoughtfulness' and 'mindfulness' chillahs ( well not really) I came to some very interesting clarity in my way of thinking.

To begin with the first forty day session made me think about the origin of Islam. Where did it spring forth from all of a sudden ? 

Why Mohammed? Does sitting in a mountain top cave make one super human? 

Will Jibraeel  visit anyone who does so?  Is this blasphemy? 

The first thing that was different between us and M was that he had a lifetime of 'clean living'. Ie he was a good person , and this is specially relevant in a time when things were not so good morally speaking. So the difference is more apparent and the effort that it took him to be that way stronger than for us who are living in more civilized times or at least so we think. So the strength of character it took to be true to his ideal and his sense of right made him a better or stronger character. 

He had also been an orphan all his life I think this also inculcated in him a  spirit of survival, in that he knew he could count on anyone to help just because he was their son. He had to prove his worth, he had to earn the love and respect from other family that he had. This made him mature and perceptive beyond his years. 

Thus when he went up for his nightly sessions on  Ghar- e-Hira he was in a way 'purified' by the ultimate test: the test of living on your principles, and of understanding that you are ultimately judged for your self alone. His good principles had already attracted good people to him most notably his wife. 

It helped that she was rich because it is hard to be spiritual if you have to scrounge around to eat and for other basics. But it was at the same time a good relationship in a time when this was a rarity. This tells us that M was essentially a Man in the prime of his intellectual and  spiritual ability , and largely at peace with himself, a happy home life and good friends, business was probably looking good, and he felt safe in questioning the universe for more answers. My way of thinking is that he probably had ben wondering about this all along but it was only now that he could afford to let go of the mundane and focus on the esoteric.

Why am i writing all this: just thinking aloud and trying to understand that M was a man, just like us, and what sort of state of mind he prob was in when he experienced the revelations.

What would be the point of that? To understand where we might possibly need to be , or should try to be  before we venture looking for spiritual insight.

So it seems that for him what worked was essentially getting all his 'practical' or 'this worldly' ducks in a row, to have lived a moral and upright life, to enjoy a good equal relationship with an intelligent wife. It is often in this place of apparent fulfillment that sometimes one begins to feel that  one has achieved all the worldly blessings that one desires, and one begins to get antsy for what's next. One questions, one is frustrated and one asks A what's is in this life for me now?I believe at such a time as this M was driven to be with himself and because of the sincerety of his asking A gave him revelations.

ergo: 

1. clean living
   
2. getting the dunya out of the way early
   
3. good relationships all around
4. a sense of yearning and desire to know

This is what one needs to have in the beginning of spiritual discipline. What does this mean to me? When we are told to do and be as M was , in real terms what does this mean to us in the 21st century?

1. Be as an orphan in this world: self sufficient, people should know you for you, your character, your morals, your good nature and not for your 'things', your 'connections'  etc.
2. Practice a lifetime of truthfulness, clean living, simple tastes etc.
3. work hard and comply with the rules of the dunya to get your ducks in a row, have enough to live on, and thus free yourself from the rat race. when you work hard and for the money, do not run after excessive money for you will never have enough, rather do it so you can live undisturbed and move on to higher things
4. establish and invest the time and effort it takes to create and maintain good relationships. The peace of mind this brings allows one to move onto higher things, and provides the support system all of us need in this lifetime. Be prepared to give a lot to your close relationships and spend time and care and mindfulness on them. Family first, the rest of the world later.
5. establish a lifetime in contemplation away from the madding crowd. Write your thoughts, blog if you have to, preserve the thoughts of others that resonate with you, try to dream at night, and keep a record of that as well, understand plants, animals, children: they are yet in great contact with our origins.
6. do not get too much in your head: stay grounded. Work in your home, garden,office with clear neeyat, intention and happiness, knowing that everything you do is spiritual and full of energy and intention. If you dust your home make neeyat for it, if you water your plants, talks to them too. When you start something see the end result with happiness, if you sit with your loved ones hold their hand , soothe their  worries away. if you are a mother or father there is no greater blessing: A has given you one of his own to nurture and comfort.
7. do not think of your self as being better than others becasue you think deeply or more sincerely than them. this is the ultimate pride trap.

That in itself should be enough to keep us busy!

A Year of Searching

While this blog is calling itself  'A Year of Searching' truth to tell the search has always been on and even on. It is only now that I have have discovered  how to put  it in this form, and for free, no less!!

so what are we to be about. Pretty much anything and everything that occurs to us in this year while we search onward and hopefully mostly always upwards. It will have a mostly spiritual bent, and because I am a Muslim, it will have a heavy slant that-a-way. However this does not preclude me from exploring other areas and other religions and see what they have have to say about any and all of this.

I will begin by a review of my pondering  thus far, and from there move forward.

So then who am I and where am I coming from?

Do I believe in creationism? Do I believe in God ?

As of right now , Yes.

I just haven't quite understood it very well.

Am I a practicing Muslim?

Yes. In that I understand about A's absolute sovereignty , I just haven't been able to picture it yet. What does omnipresence mean, omniscience feel like ..... so yes, many, many questions  desperate to be asked.

There is no beginning to this topic and very likely no end. Many beginnings, many endings and none is wrong and all are right in their own way. (sigh, I hate vagueness)

But one cannot wander completely in the wilderness. I would like to set the theme to this year of observation and contemplation and make some rules for myself as I go along.

1. I will adopt one Zikr from the Quran . Something that speaks to me and which speaks to this purpose.

2. Some form of commitment to meditation on a daily basis.

3. Some form of physical exercise on a daily basis.

4. Writing atleast 5 times a week on this blog if not every day, but for no longer than an hour a day.

5.Read some part of the Quran, even if it is one word or one  ayah daily and making a fresh post of it so that I can revisit and add more meanings to it as time goes along.

So these will be the five pillars of my blog. Let us see how the year goes.